Saturday, January 10, 2009


January 10, 2009

Dear Blogger Butt Smackdown Participants:

It is with a heavy heart that I must inform you that I may not be able to continue to serve as your mentor. I am no longer worthy of your trust, for I have cheated. Yes, you read that correctly. I. Cheated. On. My. Diet. While all of you were at home munching on celery sticks and broccoli florets, I was enjoying eighteen hours of utter debauchery.

Last night, Cool Breeze and I were waiting for the teenagers to arrive home for dinner. We had some down time, and I succumbed to the evil wiles of the wine bottle that had been screaming my name for FIVE DAYS. I chastised myself as I poured that nectar of the gods into my favorite wine glass. I was confident that it wouldn't taste as good as I thought it would. I was wrong! It. Was. Wonderful. Fortunately, only a single serving remained in the bottle. It could have been MUCH worse!

Unfortunately, that's not all.

Snow White had an audition early this morning, after which we went to iHop for breakfast. I enjoyed a wonderful spinach and mushroom omelet that fit nicely into my South Beach Diet Plan. (I didn't eat the hollandaise sauce) BUT, I also enjoyed 1/2 of one of the pancakes that accompanied said omelet. The sugar-free syrup did little to alleviate my guilt.

As you can plainly see, the South Beach struggle continues at Casa de Envy. I'm attempting to crawl back onto the diet wagon and take control of the reigns. Until I regain my footing, you may want to turn to Mental P Mama for guidance. She may have eaten 327 olives, but she never sipped a single drop of that martini. If I am impeached, I nominate her as your new leader. You'll have to organize your own special election. That would be much too painful for me to handle.

In closing, I would like to encourage all of you to take it one day at a time. Don't beat yourself up if you slip, just get back on track and keep moving forward. I have run out of cliches for this paragraph, so feel free to add your own here____________________.


Blogger Butt Smackdown Moderator with a Past


Unknown said...

I could never have another leader but are the one eho inspired me!!!

Being a leader isn't all about doing it perfectly, it is being able to say....I drank the wine of ife and I LOVED it.

Personally, I would not want it any other way.

Bloggers should never judge one another...never.

Your honesty was great because if you can not be honest on your own blog, then where else can you be so.

You are loved!


Unknown said...

There is a diet called, "The Wine Lover's Healthy Weightloss Plan"...

dang it all, we have been doing the wrong diet.

Google it...there really is a book.


Barking Mad! said...

You dear dear wonderful person! Who else would I choose as a leader but someone who falls off the wagon with such grace, such aplomb and such utter honesty!

I myself am intentionally plotting jumping off the wagon tonight. We're having pizza. I know. I suck.

But I'll haul my big butt back onto the wagon tomorrow.

BTW, I am so incredibly jealous! You got to have lunch with CBW! Green with envy here in Maine.

Yours most Jealously,

Auds at Barking Mad

P.S. Of course, I'm also incredibly jealous of CBW, she got to have lunch with YOU!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

When you fall off a horse, get back in the saddle.

Wine is the nectar of the gods and is essential to life. Never deprive yourself of wine.

(I made that third one up.)

Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh, you poor is such a struggle. You are so good to let everyone can do it!!!!
I can't.
Read my blog. ;)

Geri said...

Everybody slips no and then. It's the long haul that counts.

Predo said...

Please, I don't think you should refer to name calling here. I think what you are trying to say is that you are simply a person of easy virtue, a purveyor of pulchritude, a one-woman Sodom and Gomorrah, if you will. A slimy, slithering succubus, a concubine, a street walking donut slinger, a sugar tramp, a cheesecake slut, a cheap carb whore!

Well, I think I have made my point here. So you had a little wine, a little slip on the road to lightness.
WHO cares! It happens. Just brush yourself off and get back in the game! So, all that being said, any other naughty-ness you are not telling us? No chocolate covered twister game late into the night?

Predo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mental P Mama said...

Um, I told you that you were excused. As we have already discussed, we determined that you burned off ALL those calories with all your activity. As you were...

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

You DOG! Dont you dare read my blog!

Unknown said...

ok,slap yourself, and get up! No pity partys. We all slip and slide all over the place on diets. I don't drink wine, but I know hard liquor has no carbs. I don't drink hard liquor either, but I used to drink gin and it was perfect with diet tonic. Just don't go anywhere near an IHOP woman! The place is carb and sugar heaven. I could drink some of those syrups straight from the pitcher.
You are my inspiration so stay with us on this journey.

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

You are not giving up as our leader, you are the inspiration behind me to take this seriously.
Giving in to a little wine, not so bad, carry on now. Like Gramma J said, STAY.AWAY.from.IHOP!!!
Cookie wanted pizza tonight and I had to put a stop to that real fast because I am weak and starved...hehe.

Anonymous said...

I had two beers and ate like a fool at my son's 13th birthday dinner tonight at our fav steak restaurant-
Will tackle this SB monster again on Monday! Not happenin on the weekend- and 2 beers is better than 12-right?

I Am Woody said...

Like I told NNG, I fall off of mine daily!!

Today I had beer. And pizza!!

Tomorrow is another day!

Suz Broughton said...

It is gonna kill your diet if you don't do this sort of thing every once in a while. Please don't feel so bad. You're doing great.

Frita said...

You can't stop... you are my inspiration. I had a blogafessional today as well... I had a cream puff :o( But...we have to be realistic... it ain't the last cream puff I'll eat in my life, well, and we know it's not your last glass of wine. Right? We must get up and continue on!

Bella Della said...

Okay, now I don't feel bad about "sampling" the cookies I baked for my elderly neighbors yesterday. I had to taste them and make sure they were okay. Had to.

Hope you guys are having a good weekend.


(Sometimes!) Serendipitous Girl said...

Oh. Holy. Baby. Jesus. This is why SSG doesn't diet. I'm already stressed and going for the wine on a Sunday morning. And I'M not even on South Beach. The mere mention makes me want to grab every potato and loaf of sour dough bread in sight.

And Predo's comment CRACKED me up.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

I left you a voicemail~I want to know about the wine tooth! said...

Oh honey! For heaven's sake! Talk about "beat yourself up"! Now stop that and jump back in there! I have faith! I will do a cheer for you!

nikkicrumpet said...

I could last on that diet...or any diet for that matter...for all of about 5 seconds....then chocolate starts it's siren song and lures me in! I HAVE NO SELF CONTROL!

Unknown said...

I was coming over to tell you how I cheated this weekend. I feel MUCH better now.

Thank you for being an inspiration : ). No impeachment necessary.

Thrifty Cents said...

You're too funny! Although I haven't joined the BBS, I did eat 1/4 of a FULL sheetcake the other day...BY MYSELF!
I think you're excused!

littletoesandcheerios said...

We want you as our leader! Don't give up. Look at it this way, you did about 90% good! We will march on and conquer this thing together!
I'll post tomorrow!

Fairy Mae said...

Eventhough,tragedy must pick yourself back up! I have faith in you..

Family Room said...

I tried the South Beach.....too restrictive and I LOVE LOVE LOVE WINE!!!! It loves me too, unconditionally it whispers sweet nothings to me, truly it is ridiculous how it seduces me! I'm really defenseless against it's constant advances! I did much better with WW where I could count points except I tried to use all my points for wine and then there was an issue of driving myself to meetings.........ugh!!!:) hang in there no diet is perfect!!

mom x 2 said...

Well for heaven's sake.... it's only a "little" wine and only "1/2" a pancake...... You inspire me :) I had a whole plate of breakfast Saturday morning and 1/2 carafe of wine Saturday night, so I think you are doing pretty darn good!

Anonymous said...

I thought of you when I saw the healthy crockpot recipe links over at A Year of Crockpotting. She has some South Beach friendly links.