Monday, June 30, 2008

My Tenth Post

WOW! Ten posts. Where does the time go? I'm certainly not getting anything else done now that I have become a blogger.

At this point in our relationship, I thought it would be appropriate for you to get to know me a little better. We have become so close over the past week, and I just feel compelled to share.

1. I have two younger sisters. They are both tall and thin. I am not.

2. I have a degree in Psychology.

3. I have been called anal retentive. I don't think this makes me a bad person.

4. I'm a pretty decent cook. So is The Surveyor.

5. I miss my grandmother.

6. I cannot sing. The Surveyor and Snow White sing well.

7. My favorite vacation destination is the beach. Any beach.

8. No matter how often I vacuum, there always seems to be dog and cat hair on my floor. I can live with that. Most of the time.

9. I have a library card and I'm not afraid to use it.

10. I absolutely love musicals. Especially if I'm watching them on Broadway.

Now that I have bared my soul, tell me something that I don't know about you. Or, you could just ask me a question. That would certainly create some interesting dialogue! I'm a little scared.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Styx In Church

Snow White sang a solo in church this morning. Not that I was proud of her or anything :)

The message was about using music as a form of community outreach. Our guest speaker noted that he grew up with inspirational music that didn't really inspire him. As a teenager submersed in an era of Classic Rock and Motown, he never really warmed up to the slow-paced hymns that he sang on Sunday mornings.

He had been on a quest to find music that his children could enjoy without having to *bleep* out the lyrics. Along the way, he discovered some music that HE actually enjoyed. Contemporary Praise and Worship groups provide music that is hip enough for the kids - and for their "cool" parents!

A few weeks ago, our speaker had approached Snow White about singing a contemporary song to illustrate the point of his message. Of course, she readily agreed. I can't help but feel responsible that she chose a song that was originally done by one of my favorite groups of the '70's & '80's - Styx! The song is called "Show Me the Way", and was written by Dennis DeYoung as a message to his son to try to stay on the right track in life. (I would post a link, but I am on my home computer (dial-up) and it would probably take 45 minutes to upload it. I think that may even be a conservative estimate!) Check it out if you get a chance.

I'm fairly confident that the teens and the old-timers alike were touched by her solo. Our small country church has been inundated with change over the past few years; however, rather than fight it, they have embraced it. THAT in and of itself is a blessing.

Friday, June 27, 2008

They Grow Up So Fast

Snow White will be a licensed driver in just a couple of weeks. I am terrified. She is a great driver, but just thinking about her out there on the road alone makes me feel a little sick in my stomach. Can't I just sit in the passenger seat for the rest of her life? Literally and figuratively?

Thank goodness for our mother-daughter conversations. I can express my fears and concerns, and she can roll her eyes and drive a little faster - pretending not to hear me. Occasionally one of our discussions leads me to believe that her independence will be a good thing. For me and my sanity.

Me: If you have made plans for the weekend, you need to let me know far enough in advance to arrange for your transportation.

Snow White: OK. Why can't you take me?

Me: Because Dad & I are going out with a group of our friends Saturday night.

Snow White: Really? (LOOONNNGGG Pause) Why?


Thursday, June 26, 2008

Prom 1983

OK. Stop laughing.

The year was 1983. Michael Jackson and The Police were at the top of the charts. The Surveyor and I were about to celebrate one year of dating. (We actually broke up the week before prom, but that's another story for another time.) He was a senior, I was a junior. The theme was "On the Wings of Love" - Jeffrey Osborne. High-fives to all who remember that song!!

Aren't we hot? I think it's pretty obvious that big hair would never be in my future. Unless it was chemically induced. I chose the double french braid with the wispy bangs. It was really my ONLY option. The Surveyor, on the other hand, had the hair that dreams are made of! Still does. At least I had the super cool Gunne Sax dress. It's always been my favorite!

You've laughed at my photo long enough. Slide on over to the "Sincerely Fro' Me to You" carnival at'Fro and laugh at someone else's pictures for a while. Sorry about copying and pasting the link. I'm still trying to figure out how to link these darn things. Please forgive me.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Keepin' Up With The Clampets

Yesterday, my friend over at posted a challenge for us to share photographic evidence of our "hillbillity". I didn't have my camera at work, so I am a day late posting these photos. I will attempt to be better prepared next week! No promises.

The first picture shows our lovely grilling pavilion. It looks like civilized people actually live there, doesn't it? Look closely. There are items hanging from the rafters that would make Uncle Jed proud...

Here's a closer look. If you do not know what those are then you may never claim to be part of the hillbilly community. They are antlers. From deer. Deer that Jethro, I mean The Surveyor, shot. During hunting season of course. We may be hillbillies, but we're not cretins.

The guys like to stand around admiring the antlers while they grill up some vittles. Ellie Mae and I like to spend our evenings in the cement pond.

Ya'll come back now, ya hear?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Frog On A Hot Tin Roof

Once upon a time, a maurading horde (I stole that from one of the Y's - you'll understand in a minute. Thanks CD) of cousins descended upon their grandparents farm. In a perfect world, they all would have been dressed in freshly starched cotton clothing, and would have been playing a nice game of Ring Around the Rosey. But this was not a perfect world, and Grandma didn't care what we wore as long as we stayed OUTSIDE!

One hot summer day some of the cousins became bored and decided to find creative ways to torture their much younger counterparts. Something sinister was afoot; however, the much younger contingent were too busy catching bees and baking fresh mud pies to notice. As high noon approached, the heat waves visibly resonated off of the barn roof. The tin seemed to dance as it heated to temperatures to rival the bowels of hell.

Unaware of pending doom, an innocent frog made the mistake of hopping within sight of the much older marauders. The sight of poor Prince Charming triggered those Y-chromosomes faster than you could say "dang".

The much younger group was nearby innocently eating all of the blueberries that they could shove into their mouths. They were smiling and chatting about who would get to lick the paddles when the ice cream was churned (by hand) later that evening. The much younger children could not have been happier. Blue teeth and all.

Things happened so quickly that it's difficult to remember the exact chain of events. The much younger group was summoned to the barn by those with the explosive Y-chromosomes. Their deceptive smiles led the much younger folks to believe that something wonderful was about to occur - perhaps they had found a really cool bug, or maybe even a bird nest! I can say without a shadow of a doubt that the much younger ones were ill-prepared for what happened next.

As the much younger group approached the barn, they noticed that Y#1 was holding something in his hand. At this point they could hardly contain themselves. Their pace quickened, and their hearts fluttered. Just as they reached the barn, Y#2 gave the signal and Y#1 drew his hand back into launch position. It's still vividly etched in my mind because it happened in slow motion. Y#1 heaved-ho and poor Prince Charming hit that hot tin roof with a resounding THUD. When he first started to flail, the much younger group was certain that he would just jump down. Silly kids. Their confidence waned when Prince Charming began to look more like an egg than a frog. It didn't take the much younger ones long to realize that he had gone to Froggie Heaven.

Being the oldest of the much younger horde, I felt it was my duty to make sure Y#1 and Y#2 were appropriately punished for the mental anguish they had inflicted upon their own blood kin. So , of course, I went to TELL ON THEM! Their laughter faded as PaPa approached the barn to survey the carnage. They knew they were in big, big, big, big trouble.

I don't recall their exact punishment, but I guarantee they didn't get to lick the ice cream paddles that night. So THERE! Na na na na na!

The End

Sunday, June 22, 2008

The Emerald City

Vacation has been on my mind lately. Alot. I just wanted to share one of my favorite vacation spots with you. We call it The Emerald City - for obvious reasons. Once you enter The Emerald City, there is really no reason to leave. Ever. It's better than home. And you don't have to wear ruby slippers. In fact, they frown upon it.

OK. The real location is the Atlantis Resort on Paradise Island. If you have never been there, call and book your trip TODAY! Of course, if you are like me, you will have to save up for about fifty years before you go. I promise it will be worth the sacrifice.

My favorite part of going to the resort is being able to see all of the live critters. They are scattered throughout the entire complex. Huge aquariums are filled with sharks and other less intimidating fish, underground tunnels house a plethora of ocean life, and my favorite sea creatures line the manicured walkways....

"At that moment, I WAS a Marine Biologist" -George Costanza

The folks at Atlantis are also very conscientious about the health of their fish:

This is my favorite dining spot. You can eat outside and enjoy the wonderful view of The Emerald City. The food is pretty good too!! Shrimp salad anyone?? Sorry, I can't recall the name of the place. I just call it That Shell Restaurant.

I hope you've enjoyed your mini tour of Atlantis. It's truly one of my favorite places.

Feel free to send me a thank you note once you return. Better yet, I'll meet you at That Shell Restaurant for a drink!

Friday, June 20, 2008

John Keenan

When I was in elementary school, I wasn't too interested in boys. Unfortunately, there was one boy who was interested in me. John Keenan. He looked like the youngest brother on My Three Sons. I don't know why John found me so attractive - it must have been my Marcia Brady hair. He would write me little notes. You know the ones: "I like you. Do you like me? Yes No Circle One." I never returned them. I put them in my notebook and threw them away when I got home. No need to hurt the poor kids feelings.

I believe that the only reason I remember John Keenan is because that boy could SING! That little tidbit of information came to my attention one day in chorus. There were never many boys in 4th grade chorus, so the ones that were there stood out. I was impressed with his vocal stylings. This was short lived.

At that time (before fire) the Doobie Brothers were very popular. "Black Water" was at the top of the charts. I really liked that song. Evidently, so did John Keenan. One day in class, John was humming it. (Our assigned seating made it impossible for me to get away from him.) I made the mistake of telling him that I liked it. Well, he took that as an invitation to belt out "Black Water" every chance he got. Sometimes, he would just sing it quietly at his desk. A one man concert - just for me. Fourth grade felt as if it lasted two years. The teacher never did change our seating arrangement. I was never the same.

To this day I think of John every time I hear that song. Funny how things just stick in your mind. Over the years I have wondered what ever happened to the guy. I'm sure he is somewhere out there singing "Black Water" to a special girl.

John, if you ever read this, send me a message! Sorry, you just weren't my type. Now, the kid that thought he was Fonzie, he was sort of cool......................

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Snow White

I'd like to introduce you to Snow White. This photo shows her at prom escorted by The Boy With The Perfect Teeth. It's somewhat ironic that we gave him this nickname several months ago. He sends Snow White a text message every night reminding her to wear her retainer. I.Am.Not.Making.This.Up. Last weekend, he sent ME a text message to remind Snow White to wear her retainer. I love this kid. I am convinced that he is from another dimension. In his world, they cast out those without perfect teeth. Evidently, he wants Snow White to live there one day.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Hand Over The Aqua Net And No One Gets Hurt

I was really cool in the '70's. I kept my long, straight hair perfectly coiffed with the handy comb I kept in the back pocket of my Levi's cords. That same hair was a sight to behold as I raced around the skating rink singing along with the BeeGees. Marcia Brady had nothing on me. It was truly a wonderful time in my life. I rocked! Unfortunately, my hair reign came to an end with the arrival of the '80's. That's when my clinically diagnosed case of Big Hair Envy reared it's ugly head.

It hasn't been determined who actually made the decision to deem straight hair "out". It must have been someone with curly hair. Or a man. The world may never know. Seventeen magazine proclaimed big hair "in" before I even had time to consider the consequences. What was I going to do? How could I go to school with my stick straight hair? How would I ever get a boyfriend? These questions were answered with one trip to the drug store - AQUA NET! In the pink can. The motherload.

Getting ready for school in the morning was a breeze! It only took a couple of hours. The usual stuff didn't take that long, but then there was THE HAIR. Before I jumped in the shower I made sure to turn my jumbo curling iron on high - just to be sure it was searing hot by the time I was ready to use it. In about an hour. Once I had dried my hair, I doused it with a big shot of Aqua Net. While it was still wet with the glue-like substance, I quickly rolled it piece by piece in the iron (which was covered with so much residual hairspray that it's a wonder the heat could penetrate). It was a joy to behold! The curls didn't move. The final touch was the bangs. Oh, the bangs. I would follow the same process, but after curling the bangs I would tease them into oblivion. My bangs were so high that sometimes I had to duck when I went through doorways. Not really. But that's how I felt.

Aqua Net - you are my hero. You helped me through one of the most difficult times of my life - adolescence. I will be forever grateful. I'm ashamed to say that I eventually gave you up for Rave. But don't feel bad, I also gave up Tickle deodorant. There's a time and a place for everything.