Wednesday, July 2, 2008

A Smart Way To Solve The Trash Crisis

Today I am posting to help a friend in need. Take a minute to read her story at http://www.okwherewasi.com/my_weblog/2008/07/wwmd-thanksgiving-blessings.html. (Please don't banish me from the blogosphere. I STILL haven't figured out how to shorten these darn links. Feel free to leave instructions in my comment section. Just don't curse me! Please.)


Now that you understand her plight, you will realize that the information I am about to reveal will set her free from the humiliation of having a thousand bags of trash in the back yard. She will feel so liberated that she will call Martha and invite her over for a plastic cup of wine.


A woman like Martha Stewart couldn't possibly understand the importance of passing along efficient trash disposal advice. She has a staff of 50 to dispose of her trash. I'll bet she doesn't even touch trash. Hers or anyone else's.


My family has never had a problem getting rid of those pesky bags. We've never had to rely on others to do our dirty work because we have a secret. The secret has been handed down for generations. We all have one of these...........
Yep. That's it. In all of it's glory. THE BURN BARREL. Ain't she a beaut? When the piles start to accumulate, you just toss the bags in here and set a match to them. It's really nice in the winter because it warms you right up. One word of caution - be sure to remove all aerosol cans from the trash before lighting. If not removed, these cans will explode. Guaranteed. Not that it's ever happened to me before. It's just what I've been told.


It's a good idea to stay with the barrel while it's burning, at least until the flames die down. You may be wondering what in the world you are supposed to do to fight the boredom while you watch trash burn. I have a solution for that as well...................


You throw horseshoes.

12 comments:

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Good lord!!! Why don't you people just put your trash out one day a week and let those nice men in the trash truck come and take it away!!

Btw, thanks for kissing your flora for me!!

Hallie

Ok, Where Was I? said...

OMG, this is hilarious! We used to have one, but after years (in the 80s) trash pick up finally arrived on our road and we could do just as Hallie asks: put our trash on the "curb".

Now there is a huge wood play thing (slides, swings) next to wear our barrel used to be, and every once in a while a piece of sharp metal or glass will resurface from those early burning days.

I'm now on a mission for next week's photo inspired from this one. But I have to catch my neighbor out, so we'll see if I can get it.

Thanks so much for posting a photo!
Sarah

Big Hair Envy said...

I would LOVE to have those nice people come and take my trash away. The problem is that my driveway is a half mile long, and I'm NOT rolling that big trashcan to the curb. Oh, yeah, there isn't a curb either.

Holy Crappers said...

Not allowed to do that in my neck of the woods

#1

Sandy C. said...

LOL! That is too funny :) I wish we could do that here!

Lori said...

We, too, have a burn barrel. Beats hauling it all to the dump - trash is stinky in the back of my car!

(Sometimes!) Serendipitous Girl said...

I'm taking notes for when I live in the country. NO AQUA NET CANS IN THE TRASH. Got it.

Meg said...

Good suggestions! Is beer allowed?

HalfAsstic.com said...

Yes, I grew up burning all the trash and we had a separate barrel for cans, aerosol and otherwise. Anything that wouldn't burn. I used to empty the utility room trash last because dryer lint caught fire soooo easily.
Ahhh, memories.

Jenn said...

Us country folks have to burn our trash! Where we live there is no trash pick up!

Jenn said...

Okay, I will try to explain how to put a link to another site in your post. You would type the words you wanted to put a link on like: Keri's Blog. Then you would take your cursor and highlight those words. Now look up on the posting options above there is a green circle looking thing (sorry not the best description) next to the page allignment icons. Click on this. It will bring up a box where you can type in the address of the link. Once you have done this it will highlight and underline the words Keri's Blog. You should be all set to go. If this doesn't make sense let me know!

trailerparkbarbie said...

Don't feel bad. It took me forever to learn how to do the links. Despite a gazillion directions from helpful people!