That special time of year is once again upon us. Those of you who live in the comfy confines of concrete and street lamps may not be aware, but it's officially Skunk Mating Season! YIPPEE!
One of the first signs of SMS is seeing the carnage. There is a direct correlation between the number of dead skunks stinking up the roadways, and the number of baby skunks that come along seven to ten weeks later.........next year's roadkill. I've noticed recently that the smell of eau de polecat has
slapped me in the face and burned my eyes greeted me on my morning commute. Oh, joy.
Another sign of SMS is smelling the faint funk that will occasionally surround your house and field. You know they're out there, but you can't
get the gun fast enough see them. I'm okay with this, as long as the smell stays OUTSIDE!
The third, and final sign of SMS is realizing that you need to ask yourself the following question: "HOW IN THE *&!!!*(&^#()&* AM I EVER GOING TO GET THIS SMELL OUT OF MY HOUSE?" You may wish to substitute "MY CARPET", "MY CLOTHES", or even "MY HAIR" - whatever the situation warrants. For me, personally, it went something like this....
Monday night we let our dog out for one last potty break before bed. This is an everyday occurrence, and one that rarely ends poorly. Shortly after he went out, he ran across the yard into the shadows. We were aware that it was SMS (see the second sign above), but we
were too tired to worry about it didn't give it a second thought. When I heard our dog bark to come in, I naively went straight to the door and opened it for him. He had barely gotten into the kitchen when we realized that it was NOT a deer he had been chasing into the field!! The smell created a house-wide funk warp in under three seconds. It was so bad that I wondered if it would be possible to die from inhaling the fumes. (Then I saw the light... Bwahahahaha!!)
It was too late to do anything about it that night, so we put the dog outside and went to bed. We all went to work/school Tuesday well aware that we reeked!! Snow White sent me a text and said that her purse smelled like skunk, and that she was going to have to leave it in the floor in all of her classes! I told her to watch the people around her and see if anyone caught a whiff!! I checked the internet to see what advice they had for skunk funk removal, and headed to Target and Pet Smart to stockpile my arsenal. Armed with Skunk Remover shampoo, Pine Sol, Baking Soda and Carpet Fresh, I headed home.
The house smelled awful, so I poured a glass of wine and got busy. I put Carpet Fresh on the rugs and little cups of Pine Sol in every room, lit candles, candles and more candles, cranked the ceiling fans up on high and opened the windows. Cool Breeze saturated the poor dog with the Skunk Remover shampoo. It may have helped, but I think we have just gotten used to the odor!!!
I'm hoping for a less stinky evening tonight, but I'm not counting on it. The last time this happened it took about two weeks for the smell to dissipate. What's in that stuff anyway?? I wonder why they haven't found a way to use it as a weapon? It would be like pepper spray on steroids!!
Do you have a skunk story?