Modern Dating



Photo borrowed from here:  http://www.bengay.com/bengay-greaseless-pain-relieving-cream

 Those of you who know me IRL are aware that I am single.  You are also aware that there really isn't much out there in Singleville from which to choose...especially when one lives in a VERY rural area, and one's job involves linking senior citizens with community services, providing exactly ZERO chance of meeting someone who is single, has a job, and doesn't need a ride to the orthopaedist.

Combine those elements with the fact that I really don't enjoy the whole bar scene, and prefer to eat out at 5:00 p.m. so I can get home before dark, and you have a recipe for living the rest of my freaking life alone!! 

Just when you (meaning ME) and your (meaning MY) single friends begin to try to convince yourselves that there really IS someone out there who is just right for you, and that happiness is just a unicorn and a pound of glitter away, life steps in with yet another reminder that it's all really one big lesson...

Today, at work, an 83 year old resident came to my office.  He brought me a small paperback Farmer's Almanac cookbook...which was very thoughtful.  He then proceeded to ask me out to dinner.  Seriously?  Is this what I have to look forward to?  Am I destined, at 46, to be responsible for false teeth removal and daily Ben Gay application?  I really thought I would be able to shirk THOSE duties for at least a few more years.  And PLEASE don't get me started on ADL assistance...especially the whole toileting issue.  I don't mind feeding you pablum, but I would prefer that you be able to wipe your own butt.  At least on the first date.  Is that too much to ask?

The lesson?  Set the bar low.  You won't ever be disappointed.  

Delivah me!  

Epiphany

I had an epiphany this evening. I've become "THAT" person...you know, the one you pray your whole life that you never become:/

What happened to me? I used to be the career woman/mom who worked hard all day and rushed home to prepare a nutritious meal for her family to share. There was conversation, there was laughter, there was Snow White's phone alerting her to a new text message every thirty seconds. Most nights, I went to bed with a sense of having accomplished something in my professional AND personal lives.

Now? I work four ten hour days. (Hey! I'm STILL a career woman!) I come home, light candles, turn on the radio and stalk people on Facebook try to decide what I want to eat for supper. (This week, my dinners du jour have been Cheez-Its, and/or Crunch & Munch. Each paired well with a nice Cabernet. Or, a cheap Merlot.) I then fall into bed, exhausted and wondering if I need a pet to keep me company. I'm six cats and a muumuu away from becoming the Crazy Cat Lady!!!

How, you may or may not ask, do I fill the hours on my day off? Well, let's see, I go to the dump, do laundry, burn trash, clean, and, on a good week, I go to Wally World to stock up on wine. And Crunch & Munch. It really IS all about the simple things in life. Or, perhaps, I've just become SIMPLE!!

My GOSH it's great to be blogging again! I've missed you all terribly, and I'm sending out an S.O.S. for you to come to BFE to visit BHE. VERY soon...

Side Note to My Uncle R: It really is safe for you to come and visit next month. I promise! Do you like Crunch & Munch?